...

Now I can't post any more of my story.

Therefore completely nullifying the purpose of this website.

Fuck it.

And now the cast of My Fair Lady:

KIRBY

JIGGLYPUFF

Do you see it? Bah it doesn't matter. You're probably an idiot anyway.

For no reason, this:

And the most suiting way to end a blog:

Once again, please note that this blog is 94% satirical and is not meant in any way to be taken seriously.

I will not remove it, but I will be more cautious with it. I'm being watched.

I'm still alive.

Plagiarism has been removed from the site.

Don't fret, however. I have something planned for these characters. I just need to think of a name.

Chapter 4 of Blossom Academy coming when it comes.

I'm sick today.

Blah.

This blog's name is nonsense.

This blog actually has absolutely nothing to do with The Velvet Underground, but it does have something to do with The Cure:

Good song. One of my favorites by them.

Chapter four of Blossom Academy is nearing completion.

Here are actual cherry blossoms:

And here's Jennifer Connelly:

And, since I've been talking about it so much lately, Clock Tower 3 fan art:

There we go. Vaguely relevant.

Anyhoo, everyone's third favorite school-based black comedy story will be back soon.

In unrelation, next console to purchase:

And now someone who really needs a good kick in the balls:

I don't know how to spell his name, nor do I really give a shit.

For vague relevance, here's Edie Sedgwick:

You can't even see the burns.

How painful!

I have no topics left, so here are cosplayists:

And most importantly:

This chick appears to be going for a redhead Cardcaptor Sakura look, so you can no doubt see why I posted her.

Fantastic then. I'm done.

Clothing removed, rip and tear, suffocation, out of air, scream in fear, fate unclear, plot stagnation, go nowhere, school is home, freckled face, sin and hate fill the populace, clumsy girl, clumsy girl, story pace, crossover race, mutilation, scenes distort, intentional to miss the point, final solution, reader confusion, fan fiction, maniac cop, crazy world, surreal thought, so insane, just not enough, Amara, McNamara.

Deviation, bloody mess, useless existence, innocence, why does she speak like Twin Peaks? Wheelchair, victim, dinner, freak, assault and rape, infect with AIDS, tragedy, human decay, at our school, the best of us, the victim screams, corrupted faith, hospital, sweet gift to bring, throw away the new-born thing, degredation, underage, masochist, pleasant sensation, project, benign, no moral ran, infallible lawsuit bonanza, comedic black, parodic hack.

Mother dead, intense, joking, satirize the current thing, dedication, come of age, necrophiliac, masturbation, protect, create, the murder plan, always slip, that damn banana, bible black, torture rack, entrails profusely stain, what's going on inside her brain? Crucifixion, Pinhead's chains, extreme pleasure in screams of pain, all perform, church in flames, the pain in all the girls' screams, Strotha's story, the author's insane.

That is all.

I don't know why I've been talking about Maggie Gyllenhaal so much lately. I'm watching Secretary right now. Whatever.

As you may or may not (as if there's any other option) know, I am a fan of hers. Alot of people seem to think she's ugly. For me, she fluctuates between adorable and hot.

She's far from my biggest celebrity crush, and with competition like Winona Ryder, Franka Potente (more on her in a minute), Rachael Leigh Cook, and Chris Meloni, she's going to have a bit of trouble climbing the ladder, unless she's dressed as her Cecil B. DeMented character. I actually wanted to fuck her more than Alicia Witt in that movie. Yes, that's right. The emo Satanist out-hotted the slutty redhead.

People think Potente is ugly too. She actually seems kinda hit or miss, but in Run Lola Run, which I know I talk about way too much...DAMN.

Also, Gyllenhaal > Holmes for not being married to Tom Cruise.

Snickers bars for all!

I'm done.

For no reason, here are the full names of many of BA's characters:

Holly McNamara

Jessie Sweeney Todd

Ryan Karloff

Lola Fulci

Rain Campbell

Maxine Schrek

Bella Argento

Nikki Englund

Alice Almodovar

Amy Metzger

Indeed.

Gary Oldman, Christopher Walken, or Willem Defoe?

Gary Oldman in True Romance:

Christopher Walken in The Dead Zone:

Willem Defoe in NOTHING:

Walken played a character named Max Schreck in Batman Returns (which is also a game I have for the Sega Genesis). Defoe played Schreck in Shadow Of The Vampire. Max Schreck is known for playing Count Orlok/Dracula (depending on the version you watch) in the film Nosferatu.

Of course, if you've seen the film, you know Orlok looks like Anton LaVey.

Founder of The Church Of Satan. Friend to Kenneth Anger.

Indeed. Anyway, Gary Oldman played the ass-head Dracula.

Bram Stoker's Dracula was of course one of several films parodied in the game Conker's Bad Fur Day. The first reference was the main reason I got into that game so many years ago.

A video game that opens with a parody of the beginning of A Clockwork Orange. Wow.

They knew how to sucker me in. There were a number of other references, most importantly Blue Velvet, Reservoir Dogs, Alien, Dune (in the Xbox version), and...ugh, Eyes Wide Shut.

To wash away the memories of that shitty movie, here's The Old Dark House:

Fun fact: footage from this movie is in House Of 1000 Corpses, which I seem to be the only fan of.

Holly is one lucky little ginger because she gets to sleep cuddling this adorable doll.

I should seriously buy one, because I really want it.

I started playing Dragon Warrior on NES for like the first time in...20 years? Fuck, I'm old.

I have weird zits on my arms. They're pissing me off.

So the Dutch chick from WF is going to write a story with me, or roleplay, or something.

It'll be about a small town in England in 1940, which means I can't use any pop culture references post-1940. Whatever, no big deal.

She has red hair, and so does her character.

Naturally, that was my first comment.

I mentioned Kenneth Anger, and you don't know who that is, so watch this:

Why certainly.

^_^

I think that's enough. Self destruction time.

The poetry/song section has been removed.

Deal with it.

So I was sitting on the couch in my bedroom a moment ago, doing diddly fuck all. After a few moments of boredom, I looked at my Dreamcast and made a boring discovery.

This controller sucks. Look at the weird shape. It feels awkward in your hands and looks really stupid. The wire is in the wrong place, too. I still like it more than the Saturn controller, though.

I guess this would be more amusing if I was pissed off about it. Sorry, I haven't been pissed off enough lately. I realize my exaggerated anger and nonsensical blue humor is what makes this blog entertaining.

Sorry about that. Here are these:

I am so the only person to actually consider both of these among my all time favorite TV shows.

I am fat as shit. It sucks.

Despite being fat, the general consensus seems to be me = hot. That's good.

My fanbase seems to mostly consist of teenage girls. Not a big shock, but interesting.

I've been playing Clock Tower 3 alot lately. It's always fun to revisit your favorite games.

Here's this now:

Certainly an awesome song, yes?

More bob-ness:

She's gorgeous.

Here's a little treat for you:

Haha, no, that's not it.

Who doesn't love Lon Chaney?

Ain't I a stinker?

If Lydia from Beetlejuice (Winona Ryder) were to bang Wednesday from The Addams Family (Christina Ricci), would you enjoy it?

He looks like Marty McFly.

Here's another film for you to watch:

Aren't I useful? Inthreed.

Now that you've watched it, you can't unwatch it.

Indeed.

Well, I believe that's enough for now. Here's Gustave Dore's masterpiece The Vision Of Death.

Just an update, some of my planned projects and ideas for the future:

- Abortion: The Musical. Yes, I'm going to write a musical.

- A story about a serial killer obsessed with movies and video games and a pro-censorship attorney/activist based on real life nutcase Jack Thompson.

- DarkDyer, a member of WF, has expressed interest in writing a story with me. I think he stopped caring when he realized I don't write fantasy.

- A Plagiarism spinoff focusing on Ryan Welch. I've wanted to do this for a while now. She's become one of my favorite characters, and I have so many ideas for her. It'd be best to give her her own story.

- A screenplay adaptation of Justine by the Marquis de Sade. My version will be a light romantic comedy. Gotta give credit where credit is due. This wasn't my idea. Thank you very much to my brother in purple, Alan, of WF. Thanks, dude. Good luck with the kid.

- Some side stories for Plagiarism and BA.

- Various fan fiction stories.

- Possibly a non-fiction story about my experiences in the wheelchair, and hopefully tell the story of how I overcame it. I need to overcome it first, though.

On that topic, yes, I can stand and walk now. But not for long, and I'm still pretty wobbly and paranoid. Don't worry. Not much time left. I'll be out of the chair shortly.

Not much longer. Not much longer.

To entertain you while I recover, here's Osaka from Azumanga Daioh acting like a retard:

It has been posted.

This site needs a thing that states when it's updated.

I just reread over my past few blogs and decied you should see a picture of Asia Argento's twat. Why? Don't fucking ask me.

Yes, I know it's the same picture. Who gives a shit? Noone reads this blog anyway.

It's quite for naught.

Despite my fanbase, I seem to be very hated at the writing forum. They're being subtle about it, but they mean me. They hate me and they want me gone.

It might turn into The Tenant. You know, with all of them trying to get me to kill myself.

In relation, I am not a pedophile, I am not an ephebophile, and I can't believe I actually have to say that.

For the sake of equal oppurtunity sexism:

I don't think this picture is real.

I don't like not writing, but I really hate attempting to write and failing.

Speaking of Dexter:

Finally, the videos work again!

Must piss.

Done pissing.

Wow, do I even try anymore?

No.

Fuck it.