...

Just letting you know.

Let's talk about this site for a moment. It sucks. Hard.

Now all the videos have disappeared again. This site is fucking sentient. I'm serious. It refuses to work as I wish it to.

Text keeps disappearing and I'm too lazy to ever update this site anymore. Blah.

Let's move on now. I mentioned recently that i almost bought a Philips CD-I console, right? No? Well, I never actually bought it. It's fucking expensive, and the games aren't much better. Overall, the whole thing is a piece of shit anyway.

This is the CD-I:

Indeed. Now I'm not going to get into the backstory, you can go check Wikipedia or something for that. I'll just review a few games for this piece of shit.

First statement: the controls are dreadful. Sure, I am using an emulator, a keyboard, and a mouse, but seriously. It's un-fucking-bearable. The actual console is notorious for it's shitty controls, too.

Now let's talk about the games, or at least what I've played of them.

Hotel Mario - Incredibly stupid and pointless with horrible cutscenes. You run around closing doors. That's about it.

Voyeur - I couldn't play this game because of some sort of code I had to enter. That was unfortunate because apparently the game was quite controversial in it's time, much like Night Trap was. I assume they're similar games. Anyway, I was interested in this game but I couldn't play it.

Zelda's Adventure - The rarest and most valuable of the three CD-I Zelda games, all three of which are considered among the worst games ever made. Well, in this case, i wouldn't know. The game didn't work. I was disappointed.

Link The Faces of Evil - Painful right from the start. The cutscenes are horrible, cheesy, stupid, and unpleasent to watch. The voice acting is atrocious. The Zelda cartoon was better. Link sounds stoned off his ass. Once the game starts, it starts going apeshit because the mouse is the controller. it makes playing the game nearly impossible. I can't get off the first screen without dying. the game works of it's own volition and I hate it.

Zelda Wand of Gamelon - See everything above, only you play as Zelda. Some badger things keep killing me and I once again cannot get off the first screen.

From what little I've managed to actually play, I'd say that the CD-I really is a total piece of shit. Aside from those that didn't work, there's still one game I want to try based on Alice In Wonderland. I'm a big Alice In Wonderland fan and apparently the game is one of the best on the CD-I. Yeah, great accomplishment.

Sooo...yeah, I only wrote this to show my site was still active. I put no effort into this blog whatsoever.

Here's a picture of Simone Simons:

Indeed.

Seriously. It hates me.

I'm trying to post things, but the text isn't showing up if I copy and paste.

It's a real pain in the balls.

So now that I'm developing a cult following and people actually give a shit about my inate bullshit, I need to start updating my blog more. I know I say that every blog now, but you know what? I'm talking out of my ass.

Indeed.

Now onto the topic we're obviously all thinking about. Marilyn Chambers has died.

Shitty, yes?

One of my lesser known fetishes is cleft chins. It's not a big turn on, but I think they're cute.

Here's 17 reasons Sean Penn > Tom Cruise:

1. Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise.

2. Sean Penn isn't a Scientologist.

3. Sean Penn is a better actor.

4. Sean Penn is crazy, but he's not batshit insane.

5. Tom Cruise makes Gary Busey look normal.

6. Tom Cruise sues over everything.

7. Sean Penn didn't taint the legacy of one of the best directors in history, Stanley Kubrick.

8. Tom Cruise sucks.

9. Screw Flanders.

10. Screw Flanders.

11. Screw Flanders.

12. Screw Flanders.

13. Screw Flanders.

14. Screw Flanders.

15. Screw Flanders.

16. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

17. Screw Flanders.

Nothin' like a little head, eh fellas? EEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!

Yes, quite.

I use ecstasy and now I wish I didn't because I never do anything to prevent those fucking mouth sores.

I just let them develop and hurt and such.

Good question, just waht DO the Daleks have to do with my bitchery regarding mouth sores?

Do you know what's a surprisingly good game?

Don't get me wrong. As a Nightmare game, it sucks (as my frog buddy Jean is keen to point out, the Silent Hill series is a far better homage). However, as it's own NES game, it's pretty fun. Difficult, but fun.

I'm a huge fan of both the Nightmare On Elm Street series and the Friday The 13th series (not to be confused with Friday The 13th: The Series, which...I am also a fan of), so obviously I have to play the games. However, I don't have a copy of the Friday game.

Here's a good game with a nice Friday The 13th homage:

Enough about video games. Let's talk about movies.

The Last House On The Left remake sucked. The My Bloody Valentine remake sucked. The newest Friday The 13th movie was kind of refreshing, but it still sucked. The Haunting In Connecticut...I haven't seen yet, but for some reason it has an Amityville Horror vibe to me.

According to IMDB, the movie has Chris Meloni lookalike and Crash cast member Elias Koteas in it. Aside from my Meloni and Cronenberg fandom, I have no reason to point this out.

I don't have a crush on Meg Ryan, but she used to be hot.

Rammstein:

Here's something interesting: http://theerrantaesthete.com/2009/03/23/the-cabinet-of-dr-caligari/

I'd love to live in a house designed to resemble The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

I still don't have an Atari.

I'm specifically after the 2600, but I'll buy whatever I find.

How did I get back to video games? Who cares?

Here's a Bugs Bunny cartoon:

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

No?

Here's Franka Potente's tits:

Other nude pictures of her were...ugly. She'll just never be as hot as she was in Run Lola Run, after ten years of following her career I'm starting to accept that.

On an in no way related note, why do there exist no good pictures of Karolina Gruszka on the internet?

I mean, like, in this picture she looks kinda like the younger sister from Ginger Snaps, which isn't a bad thing, but still. She needs better pictures.

Also, I can't believe I'm saying this, but Gruszka is not a good redhead.

Potente should only be a redhead.

Funny how that works.

Well, I'm done. Watch Reptilicus.

If you want to talk to me, leave Katie out of it.

I mean it.

Unless I trust you or like you, and you'll know if I do, leave her out of it.

My personal life is none of your fucking business.

Here's Dario Argento:

And his daughter Asia, rockin' the Taylor Kurten haircut:

Yes, I have that specific of an image of my characters in mind.So much so I can actually state who looks like them.

Asia Argento has quite the bush on her.

I love chicks with tattoos, as Plagiarism (my fetish filter) indicates.Hell, even Akira was going to have a tattoo at one point.

In relation, I'm never watching Pani Poni Dash! again, not even to write a review (it was one of my intended reviews, for comedic purposes I intended to blow my fetish for this character totally out of proportion, which I do anyway).I already talked about it.I can't ever watch the show again.

I wouldn't know how to review a TV show, anyway.Like, do I review each episode, do I just run through the whole thing, like, what do i do, exactly?

If you've seen my full reviews, you know I review pretty much the whole movie and everything about it.Doing that for a TV show would be a real bitch.

Back to chicks with tattoos.One of my other frequently referenced sexist obsessions is Franka Potente, who also has tattoos.

Lucky fuck.Anyhoo, I hate PETA.Plagiarism has a PETA character with an oh so creative name.Linda Newkirk.

For some reason, I bet I'm expected to put up a picture of Mink Stole now.

Well, I'm not going to.

Because my last PSA was too disturbing and I had a relapse, watch this.

I know, I posted it before, but how can I help myself?It's Rachael Leigh Cook clearly on the rag smashing everything in her kitchen with a frying pan that she could just as easily spank me with.How fucking hot is that?

Now I'm not speaking out against drugs.If you've read my blog, you know I'm pro-drug.It's just, well...let's say guilt...for now.

Yes, and yummy.

Many Y words.

Yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy and I wanna bang Winona Ryder...that sounded better in my head.

I've been dying to use that reference for like FOREVER now.

Someone should clean that mess up.

Quite.

Well, this has been a time and a half.I'm bored now.

I leave you with the greatest band ever, Rammstein.

As Mallory would say, you're welcome.

There was a blog today, but I have removed it.

I don't believe in censorship, it was just something I really regretted posting.

But for this and future reference, please don't take my blog seriously.

Akira Miyata.

Yes.

This is one of the oldest Bart Simpson dolls in existence.I have one of them.They were released by Burger King in the year 1990, shortly after The Simpsons started.

This isn't a photo of my doll.Mine is dirtier and the left foot has a rip in it.

Look at this thing.You can actually take his clothes off and touch his boy parts, which is, as Mole from Desperate Living would say, a Barbie doll crotch.

However, he does have a perfectly good ass crack to rim and felch.

Is it disturbing that my brain actually came to this?

Yes.

Should you be concerned?

Fuck no.

What I'm doing is a public service announcement.This doll teaches kids to molest smaller creatures, thereby creating child molesters.

Many toys do this.

This is one of them.

Sorry about the recent lack of updates, this site works when it fucking wants to and it's bullshit.I used to update daily, maybe I should do that more often.The world needs my retarded rants about stuff.

I'm the only true pundit.

Almost as loony as Ann Coulter, only without the whole racist fuck you, nigger attitude.Well, legitimate racism.I have joked around alot with it, mostly for shock value.See the end of the fifth chapter of Plagiarism as an example.

Ann Coulter is a fucking insane cunt.

I'm gonna make this a long and random blog to keep you entertained, and I'm going to smoke a few bowls, so let's see where I take us, hmmmm?

I recently bought a Sega Saturn.

Yeah, that works.Hopefully it doesn't go missing.Anyway, that was a pointless purchase, but a useless one as well.

To those of you reading Blossom Academy, yes, I realize Nikki is essentially Akira 2.0, but every story needs a character they can just shit on all they want.Every story I write has a girl named Ryan, so why not?Besides, Akira is a ripoff of Akira Miyata from Pani Poni Dash!

Why Ryan, you ask?Every story I've written since 1997 has had a girl named Ryan, and I have never used the name for a male character.I knew a girl named Ryan way back in elementary school, and I guess she must have been one of my first crushes or something because her name has always stuck with me.I'm positive if and when I have a daughter I'm going to push for her name to be Ryan.

Hell, I've legitimately thought that if I ever had two daughters, I'd name them Ryan and Madison.

Madison is another name I use alot, though I have used it as a male name and a surname, and it's not in every story I write, so it's not like Ryan.

Now my first celebrity crush, which continues today, was on Winona Ryder.

Yeah, her, complete with the Robert Smith haircut.I like her with any hair, though.I know she's naturally a blonde, but she's so cute with dark hair.

Heathers is one of my favorite movies.It also made me want to, as they would say on the newer Battlestar Gallactica series, frack the shart out of Winona Ryder.

One of the same reasons I like Run Lola Run so much.

Something I forgot to say about that fucking DVD case.It's twice as thick as a normal case, which is fucking bullshit.It's a space hog, a fucking space hog cunt.What the fuck was wrong with the standard case size with one of those fucking flappy things in the middle?Huh?Asshole.

Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest.

I seem to be getting some pretty hardcore fans now.It all started with Jess, obviously.Sparky's fucking awesome, I'm glad we're friends.I brother her sometimes, but it's because I care about her.

Ha, lame excuse.

It's true, though.After losing Kristine not too long ago (I assume because her boyfriend and my fellow Within Temptation fan hates me), I'm gaining more and more fans.If i updated Solitary Girl and In My Arms more often, I'd even have like three more fans.

That's being a little generous, maybe.I haven't even gotten to the Mulholland Drive scene yet.Maybe I'll throw that in BA or Plagiarism or some jailbait dyke heavy piece of shit I'm working on.No gay banda!HAHAHA!

Oh, fuck you.

Yeah, that's right.Eat shit.

The Blossom Academy playlist: http://www.playlist.com/playlist/15707318027

Awesome, yes?Maybe someday I'll write a review of it.

I've also recently been the top in a short gay erotica story, I have a gay Canadian stalker, and other people have advocating violating my ass.I have me some range.

Canada is of course home to Skinny Puppy, the third greatest band of all time.

I fucking love this picture.If it were a thing, I'd fuck it bad.

So I'm talking to Jean about how I want to drown a cute red-haired jailbait and keep her body afterwards and he tells me I have issues.Pfft, that frog bastard is full of shit.

What other terrible things to advocate?Oh yeah.I think everyone should be raped twice a year.Like in prison, rape has a levelling effect.It would keep everyone prepared and on their toes.

Kick every woman you see with a fat belly.The world is overpopulated as it is.

Piss "Jesus" into the snow.

If Catholic, rape Jesus in the snow.

I say this not as your god or your enemy, but as whatever the fuck it is I am, and I am terribly offensive.

Everybody loves 'emselves some Psycho Strotha!

Bjork is right.The chip in your TV DOES look like a little city.She's adorable and very talented, but she's fucking insane.

Coughing...GACK!

Suddenly I stop, but I know it's too late, I'm lost in the forest, all alone, the girl was never there, it's always the same, I'm running towards nothing, then again a whole shitload of times.

I want an Atari and a laserdisc player, still.No purchase has been made.

I want other stuff, as well.

Everyone needs to be on more drugs.They're too high strung, the fucking dicks.See rape theory.

I can't watch Pani Poni Dash anymore.I haven't all that much in a long time, but lately some bitch on Myspace has been tempting me, then Terri wanted to see Miyata's bathing suit, and, ugh, I go into convulsions.

I get sweaty, I get uncontrollable erections, it's a fucked up and disturbing fetish I have for this character.It's so fucking fucked that it's fucked, man.I just want to blow a load in her big round eyes and watch her cry!

I understood.Did you?

Why, though?

I see.You're terribly unconfortable.

Well, there's nothing we can do about that.

Why DO we drive on parkways and park in driveways?

Hopefully there is a riot going on somewhere.

Is it ironic that I often make jokes and laugh about crippled children?Especially the kids in the commercials, with their big funky Lee Evans ears and their skinny, gimpy legs.It's hilarious!

Death fascinates me.As David Cronenberg states, we are finite.We don't last forever.It's erotic, mysterious, interesting, arousing...very.

Oh, that grave just drives me nuts.

Arousing, indeed.

Caged is a beautiful song.Veery epic and inspiring.

Sonic 3D Blast is surprisingly addictive.

That's a Genesis game, and so is Vectorman.For a while, I thought they were both 32X games.

They aren't, if you give a shit.

Why that expression?Who truly does give a shit to show they care?That sounds rather inconsiderate.

I'm so on right now.

Like, in many ways.

Strotha is the re-animator.

There is no reason for you to disagree.

I've been talking about one of my old ex-girlfriends lately, maybe it's related to my ex-boyfriend's suicide.This girlfriend was very tall.She was actually taller than me.I don't stand too much these days, but when I am standing, my full height is 6'4, so I'm a big dude, and she was even taller than me.

Very arousing.

But as far as my fetishes go, redhead > tall.

The Room was on Adult Swim.Good cult film.I love Adult Swim for it's cult content.If any of my stories was ever turned into a TV show, it'd find it's home there.

Whenever asked what kind of writer I am, I say black comedy.It's the only thing that fits.

I want to fuck Akira Miyata, as the dude from Mallrats would say, in an uncomfortable place.She has low self-esteem, it'd work.

I am a terrible person.

My mom always used to make fun of me for my crush on Winona Ryder.

I got some shit planned for chapt three of Blossom Academy.It'll be fucked straight up, bitches.

Lord Abortion would be a great plot for a movie.I thought of a movie I could write, Abortion: The Musical!

What screams Strotha more than a musical about abortion?

People in the audience can be given coat hangers and whiskey.

It'd be like The Rocky Horror Picture Show directed by the Manson family!

Christopher Lloyd would be a great pedophile.It's those weird eyes.

HOPPE HOPPE REITER!MEIN HERZ SCHLAGT NICHT MEHR WEITER!

If you don't love Spieluhr, go take a bath in Magic Johnson's blood.

It's a great way to lose weight.

Yes, I know what Hoppe Hoppe Reiter is.Go check chapter three of Plagiarism.

I can't believe how fucking long it's been since I started Plagiarism.I remember it like it was yesterday.

There is no way I'd ever be able to put all my writing on this site.There's nowhere near the amount of songs I wrote, no fan fiction, no poems, no traces of Refused Classification, Psycho Schoolgirl, my MST3K script, etc.No screenplays or scripts or any about the author bullshit.I haven't even finished Plagiarism yet and I've already started a new book.

Plagiarism is on hiatus indefinitely, but it will be back.It's time will come.

The Masque Of The Red Death is the movie the Vincent Price samples in the Theatre Of Tragedy song are from.Not imperative to your listening, but true nonetheless.

Yes, I'm listening to that playlist.There's no reason you shouldn't be.

My parody of Worlock, Babbler Rambler, is one of the best songs I've ever written.

At it's core, Plagiarism is the best thing I've ever written, even if I was so fucked up on drugs writing most of it.

Plagiarism must have the biggest asshole narrator of all time.

I suck at sleeping.You're not alone.Remember the dinner scene in Freaks?We accept you.

Yes.

I'm almost out, and then this will end.

I have a pimple on my face.Son of a bitch.I'm too old for pimples.

Oh, Tooth & Claw reminds me of this badass video:

Isn't that fucking sweet?That's up there with like Worlock levels of awesomeness.

For comparison:

Too fucking awesome.

Plagiarism is the definitive referencer of obscure or cult movies, but I think Blossom Academy is going to end up going that way too.

Another reason I belong at Adult Swim.

God Warrior is a badass ecstasy song.I'd dance like Crispin Glover in Friday The 13th Part 4 to this song if I could.

Dark.

If she could hurt her enough, Ryan from Blossom Academy could fall in love with Ryan from Plagiarism.Ryan (BA) is bisexual, too, only she'll love whoever can hurt her, kinda like Kakihara from Ichi The Killer.

Do you refer to me as Strotha, Strother, or both?

Would it be in bad taste if I wrote a chapter in Plagiarism or Blossom Academy about a girl dying a slow, painful, darkly comical death of cancer and dedicated it to my sister?

I am fucking beautiful.

My fellow humanity-loathing misanthrope MeeQ is now a fan of mine, it seems.Awesome, no?

Rather.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Richard D. James.

I think Jack Nicholson was a better Joker than Cesare Romero, but out of him and Ledger...well, I'm going to have to give it to Nicholson for The Shining.

Dogs, body, comatose, torchlight roast...and so on.

Healter fucking Skelter, my friends.

My friend claims to only like movies made after 2000, yet he loves Akira.Fascinating.

I could so write another Worlock parody and make it about Plagiarism or Pani Poni Dash or both or something.

The end is near, my friends.

Was The Cable Guy really a black comedy?I don't think so.So Carrey is the villain.So what?He was the villain in Batman Forever, too, but noone calls that movie dark.In fact, it's very colorful.Green especially.

Has it been established that I'm a Batman fan yet?

You know, Batman was inspired by this movie:

It's a very good movie.

Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood was right, he shouldn't have been Karloff's sidekick.That limey cocksucker.

The Bat has nothing to do with Lugosi, but it does have to do with Vincent Price.

A dildo wrapped in barbed wire would be a real bitch to explain to your parents at the hospital.

Here's a good April Fools joke.Burn down someones house while they're asleep.

They'll either wake up homeless or dead.

This blog is quite long.

I, however, am bored.

Now I'm horny.

Kurt Russell is a badass.

This blog contains subliminal messages.

Well, I'm done.

Look at it.There's nothing here.

How boring.

I have two copies of Reservoir Dogs on DVD.The tenth anniversary edition and the fifteenth anniversary edition.This blog is about the latter.

I didn't get the gas can version because I thought it was gimmicky and stupid (yet my Evil Dead II DVD looks like the Necronomicon and screams if you push on the eye), but it's the same basic DVD (or so I assume, they look identical).

The case is a piece of shit.First of all, I can't close the fucking thing because it doesn't want to.That's it.It CAN close, but it fucking refuses to close just to piss me off.

Second, what's with the bright red and yellow color scheme?It looks like something Hulk Hogan would shit out.It looks fucking terrible.I would have went with a darker scheme, or maybe the white, black, and red scheme the Reservoir Dogs video game had.

Next, the thing disc two is supposed to go on (did that make sense?It goes in the hole in the middle of the disc) is broken.As soon as I first opened it, the disc flew out.It was scratched on my floor and now it barely fucking works.I had to try it on two DVD players, my Playstation, and my laptop before finding out it still worked on my portable DVD player.Thankfully I can connect it to my TV.It's bullshit because I have far more damaged discs that work like fucking clockwork (including Clockwork Orange), but this disc is an asshole.It just doesn't want to work.

Because the disc holder is broken, the disc can't sit inside the case.I had to put it in a seperate disc sleeve, so it was away from disc one.That was frustrating, so I put disc one in a sleeve so they were together, so now I have a fucking empty DVD case sitting around collecting dust.

I have alot of DVDs, so I don't always remember which ones are in sleeves and which ones are in cases.Knowing me, I'm going to open the case some day and freak out because the DVDs are missing.

You know why this is such a pain in the balls?I bought the fucking DVD because I LOST the case to my old Reservoir Dogs DVD!

So now I have two copies (four discs in total) of Reservoir Dogs in little sleeve things, a missing case, and a useless piece of shit case sitting around just to act as an eventual cock tease.What fucking bullshit.

This is the only movie that has fucked me over on more than one occaision just with the fucking case.I'm thinking of buying another copy, but what's the point in buying the same movie on DVD three times?It's the same movie each time.

Like, I have two copies of The Exorcist on DVD, the original version released in 1998 (the first DVD I ever bought, by the way), and The Version You've Never Seen, released in 2000 (I believe).They're only slightly different, but it's at least logical to own both, but owning three copies of the same goddamn version of Reservoir Dogs is FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Granted it's only two right now, but still.I probably will own another copy eventually, and then I'll probably buy the fucking Blu Ray, too.I still have the VHS somewhere, so how many fucking copies of Reservoir Dogs am I going to own before I'm happy?

Fucking bullshit.

In the past week or so, it seems I have been making alot of totally unneccesary purchases.

I bought:

- A Sega Saturn with several games (ordered online).

- Dr. Caligari on DVD (ordered from a porn site).

- Four Flies On Grey Velvet on DVD (ordered online).

- Several locally purchased DVDs.

- Pot.

- Eight grams of mushrooms.

- An assload of other things.

And to top it all off, I still want to buy a laserdisc player, and then obviously I'm going to need to buy some laserdiscs, and then what the hell, I might as well get a Betamax and more old video game systems.

Clearly I have been buying way too much stuff I don't need...or that I do need.Let's stay in that mentality.

Phantasm then.

Oh, I need to get those, too...and obviously I'm going to need a multi-region DVD player to watch Phantasm II...and a DVD recorder...and a standalone Blu Ray player.

Yeah, I'm buying too much stuff.

No, this isn't a review of some obscure movie.Rather, it's a review of a rare album by a moderately obscure band.Skinny Puppy.

First, a little backstory.Skinny Puppy is one of my favorite bands and they have been for a long time.This album is long out of print and quite rare, hence me feeling the need to review it.Next review, 1989's Dr. Caligari!I'm not joking.

What a shitty quality picture.Well, don't blame me, I didn't take it.

Prior to the album's release in 1996, there were a number of problems.The producer changed a number of time, the label (the ironically named American Recordings...SP are in fact Canadian) wanted them to adapt a more mainstream industrial sound, and the band was plagued by infighting and tragedy.Nivek Ogre, the frontman, left the band.Dwayne Goettel, the keyboardist, died of a heroin overdose.

There's a nice little tribute to him.American Recordings dropped our industrial pioneering Canucks after the album was released, and it was intended to be the last album ever released by Skinny Puppy.

And it was, until 2004 when the band released their then-newest album, The Greater Wrong Of The Right.

The album was intended to be a concept album based on the cult known as The Process Church Of The Final Judgement.

As you can see (or has been blantently obvious forever now), I'm a fan of the band, so I'm not going to tear the album apart like I usually do in my reviews.Rather, I'm going to give you a legitimate review and share my thoughts on the album.

1. Jahya - A very electronic track with nice riffs and sound effects from The Abyss.The ending is interesting, but I don't know whose voice that is or what it's from.Damn my limited movie knowledge!

2. Death - Spiky, black, hard-edged...good way to describe it, really.One of my favorite songs on the album.Heavy and meaningful.It was on the soundtrack to my story refused Classification and, at one point, was on the Plagiarism soundtrack.It was later replaced by another song from this same album.

3. Candle - I have no idea why, but this song makes me think of Pink Floyd.It's good, and pretty mainstream sounding.It's not one of my favorites so I don't really care.

4. Hardset Head - A song that starts off slow, then starts getting faster when Ogre starts yelling "silent noise."Also includes some oddly Sonic The Hedgehog sounding effects.

5. Cult - This song is beautiful.Some of the effects remind me of Testure, which certainly isn't a bad thing.This song does sound relatively mainstream, which isn't neccesarily a bad thing.I love this song.

6. Process - A very sci-fi sounding song and one of the earlier choices for the theme to the Plagiarism chapter Mondo Retardo.I love this song, it sounds like it belongs in a futuristic horror sci-fi movie.If you don't like electronic music, you won't like it.Lyrically, it's very interesting.One of the best songs on the album.

7. Curcible - Great song.Heavy at times, and slow at others.Some interesting sounds and samples, and great lyrics.The live version is pretty badass too.

8. Blue Serge - Probably SP's most ecstasy friendly song...actually, I wouldn't be so sure about that.A very fun song, a blast to dance to (especially on drugs), dance floor material for sure.I don't know what the samples are from, but they go with the song perfectly.Jess MacLeod's theme song on the Plagiarism soundtrack.

9. Morter - Awesome song, great effects, interesting samples (I have no idea what they're from), cool name, great lyrics, fun to dance to...just an awesome song.

10. Amnesia - Beautiful, haunting, powerful, amazing.One of the best Puppy songs out there.

11. Cellar Heat - Short and sweet.Very loud, kind of reminiscent of Tin omen, Dogshit, or Convulsion.It's interesting that it ends the way Jahya starts, and the album is cyclinical.It replays itself.

So I like it.Good album.

Don't worry, my blogs'll be entertaining again eventually.

They work when they fucking want to.

They're assholes.I'm trying to smoke a bowl here and all I'm getting from three lighters that were perfectly fucking fine yesterday are those stupid little sparky things.

It's fucking annoying.I want to get baked and dick around on the internet, and the only thing stopping me are these cunt ass lighters.They are fucking dicks.

That's what I have to say to...lighters, I guess.Tell those little pieces of shit to go sit and spin.

Also, a little late for International Drunken Redhead Day, here's Yotsuba (not from Death Note):

She looks so happy!

Speaking of AIDS, my friend accepted my apology.I'm glad, I really didn't want to lose her, and though we've never really met, I feel a strong sense of attachment to her and I feel like she's a keeper as a friend and I felt terrible about hurting her.

So, that's settled, which is good.

I'm bored.

Indeed.

This is a blog wherein no topic exists.

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, or International Drunken Redhead Day as I call it.

The blog is being fuck right now.I'll update more later.

I haven't been updating much lately.Why?No reason.

Today may have been one of the most pointless days of my life.I did literally nothing.NOTHING.

A big fucking pile of NOTHING today.I don't feel upset over it, I just feel like today shouldn't have existed.

So....fuck, I don't even have anything to talk about!

Um....oh, I know.

No, it's not my usual rant about how our cutie Keanu can't act his ass out of an ass orgy (what the fuck does that even mean?).No, this rant is about his ethnic background.

His mom was English, his dad was a Hawaiian-Chinese American, he was born in Lebanon, he talks with a monotone valley girl accent, and he's somehow Canadian.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Why do I care?Do I really have nothing better to get my piss boiling over?

No.No I don't.

Wait, maybe I do.Like ten years ago this really cute chick named Amy Lynn Bradley went missing during a cruise or something with her family.She hasn't been seen since, aside from a few isolated incidents involving her apparently being forced into white slavery (insert obligatory Blood Sucking Freaks reference here) and hookery.Even those things have long since disappeared and she's seemingly ceased physical existence.She's probably dead now.

Why am I talking about this cute missing chick and her probably cold, gaping snatch?

You won't know why, but I'm looking at her picture.She is the splitting image of one of the nurses who worked with me in the hospital.

One of the two nurses I had a minor crush on.The one I liked more.Not the redhead, shockingly.

This nurse, let's call her Jenifer (not to be confused with the hot yet freakishly deformed girl of the same name from the Masters Of Horror episode), was a very cute girl who instantly became cool in my book when she not only expressed hardcore Evil Dead fandom, but she pointed out my Eraserhead DVD and inquired about my David Lynch fandom.

She knew Evil Dead and David Lynch.Therefore, she is the coolest fucking nurse in the world.

And, I shit you not, she looks exactly like this chick.I'm not saying they're the same person or anything, I'm just saying they look alot alike.

Of course, this picture is over a decade old now, but still.The girl's probably dead, so who give a salty sheared nutsack?

I don't know what that means, either.

Enough.

Freddy Kreuger from the Nightmare On Elm Street series:

Jason Voorhees from the Friday The 13th series:

Michael Myers from the Halloween series:

Pinhead from the Hellraiser series:

Chatterer from the Hellraiser series:

Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein is the doctor, people, do your homework):

Dracula (I can't tell if this is Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, or just a generic Dracula, it's certainly not Udo Kier or Max Schreck):

Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy:

I wish I had these dolls....

Welcome to the morning news.In their long and bloody feud, Max Miller and Kirk Haggard have taken every oppurtunity to make life miserable for eachother.

At True Directions, Kirk and Max would meet for the very first time.Because of repressed urges, the pair would often engage in sexual relations.Both had identified as bisexuals.

Together, the pair would embark on a certain activity.The rape of their two cabin mates.

In fear of being caught and apprehended, Haggard killed his victim, Jordan McCoy.He slit her throat and stabbed her in the chest before finally dismembering her body.

Miller could not kill his victim, Sarina Farmer, and instead let her live on an empty threat.Farmer was so traumatized by the event, she developed an obsession with Miller and fell madly in love with him.

Recently, Farmer assaulted Miller's girlfriend, Akira MacFarlane, and left her a bloody, battered mess.As part of a plan to win Miller over to herself, Farmer and Haggard devised a plan to win Miller to their side.

Miller was not swayed, despite Haggard's best efforts, and the two had a falling out.Miller, a Canadian, had recently developed an allegience with Padraic O'Byrne, an Irish student, and Lorenzo Pervaja, a Mexican student.The trio had started The Culture Club, a group for foreign students frustrated with America.

Over this concept, the controversial Culture Club drew the hatred of many of the American students.

Over rumors that she knew of his criminal tendancies, Haggard recently assaulted a girl in the same school as Miller and himself.Chelsea Amara was beaten and raped as a result of Haggard's paranoia.

Immediatly suspecting Haggard, Miller confronted him.The two had an argument which nearly ended in violence.Haggard blamed the rape on Angus Roy, a new student at the school hailing from Scotland.Furious over the incident, Miller befriended Roy and invited him to go fishing the next night.

Meanwhile, the obsessive Farmer persuades Haggard to help her put Miller's girlfriend out of the picture.That night, in the pouring rain, Miller strangled Roy and dumped his body in the lake.

On his way home, Miller met Haggard in a parking lot.Haggard informed Miller that he had killed the wrong person.While Miller was distracted killing Roy, Haggard had raped MacFarlane.

In a violent rage, Miller assaulted Haggard, and the two fought within an inch of their respective lives before the fight was broken up.The two were both bloodied and bruised.

Because of recent events and accusations of his involvement with the arson of a local Catholic church, Haggard dropped from his evangelical parish and started his own church, a church preaching devil worship and sacrifice.

Among those killed by the cult were Miller's cohorts and friends, O'Byrne and Pervaja, despite Pervaja being a Satanist himself.Increasingly paranoid, Miller started defending those close to him, particularily his ten year old sister, Chaz.

Believing him to be overprotective, Chaz became infuriated with Miller.She yelled at him to leave her alone.The next night, Miller found his sister mutilated and crucified.

Seeking revenge for the death of his sister, Miller assaulted Haggard and attempted to strangle him.In self-defense, Haggard stabbed Miller in the throat, killing him.Haggard said a prayer before mutilating and raping Miller's corpse.

Farmer, now a member of Haggard's cult of teenage devil worshippers, participated in Haggard's ritual.She ate parts of Miller's body before bathing in his blood and masturbating.

Depressed, traumatized, and afraid for her life, MacFarlane confronted Amara, who she had befriended while the two were in the hospital.MacFarlane stated she was terrified for her life and she didn't know what to do.

Amara replied, stating she loved MacFarlane.They will be friends forever, and no matter what she will be there for her.MacFarlane and Amara embraced, both promising to protect the other the rest of their lives.Despite this comfort and affection, MacFarlane remained depressed.She swore to herself she will never forget.

It's been a while since I reviewed anything, so what the hell?Here are some thoughts on random stuff.

My Name Is Bruce - Starring the always awesome Bruce Campbell, this movie kicked my ass so hard shit came out and flushed itself down the toilet.Campbell is awesome in every way in this movie (well, when isn't he?), it's funny, it's appropriately scary, fuck, I can't even think of what to say about it.It's awesome.If you're unfamiliar with Bruce Campbell, go to IMDB and search his name.Then, write down every movie he was in.Go out and buy them.

The Wrestler - As a fan of both wrestling and Darren Aronofsky (who did PI) and all the hype around this movie, I felt I had to watch it.I liked it, it was okay, but it's no PI.It's definately the best wrestling movie I've ever seen, and it's touching how dedicated he is to his job.I liked the vague ending, and Evan Rachael Wood is fucking HOT.Not as hot as she is when she's a redhead, but hot nonetheless...that does not make sense.Anyway, seeing Necro Butcher in it was pretty tear-ass, since I'm a fan of his real life work.He is brutal and fucking awesome.Anyway, I liked it.

Blood Feast - Sucked ass.It feels weird saying that about a Herschell Gordon Lewis movie that's not Monster A Go Go, but this movie was boring and just awful, plus the coloring looked really weird.This is basically the kind of movie you'd see on Mystery Science Theater 3000, only with more violence.There's one cool scene where the killer yanks out this chick's tongue, plus I used a still from this movie in one of my older blogs, but by all accounts, it's a horrible movie.Fun fact, scenes from this movie are visible in the movie Serial Mom.

Godspeed On The Devil's Thunder - Cradle Of Filth's newest album, which I forgot about until, I think, December.As soon as I remembered, I went out and bought it.Cradle's one of my favorite bands, though alot of people have been criticizing their recent albums.I disagree with alot of it, though Thornography kinda sucked, I thought Nymphetamine kicked ass.Anyway, this album is a HUGE step up from Thornography.It kicks ass, it reminds me alot of their older albums, especially Cruelty And The Beast, probably because they're both concept albums.Cruelty was about Elizabeth Bathory, Godspeed is about Joan Of Arc cohort and mass murderer Gilles de Rais.My favorite song on the album is Darkness Incarnate, but overall it kicks ass.Go out and buy it.

Jenifer - One of my favorite episodes of Masters Of Horror.Directed by Dario Argento, who I'm a fan of, Jenifer is about a girl (named Jenifer, which is misspelled...just saying) with a hot body but a freakishly deformed face.She's also retarded and totally fucking whacked.I kind of feel bad for her, but she triumphs in the end, so all is well.Being honest, though, with maybe a bag over her head, I totally would.Then again, I did hit on a retarded girl once, so maybe my standards are fucked up.I love Katie, though, I'd never cheat on her with a psychotic retarded girl with a facial deformity.The whole time I'm watching this episode, I'm thinking Elephant Man, I just want her to yell "I AM A HUMAN BEING!" and then kill someone.Why not?

Hell Ride - Sucked ass.

My Bloody Valentine 3D - To be honest, I hate remakes, yet I insist on watching them, I guess just so I can bitch about them.It's getting ridiculous, EVERY FUCKING HORROR MOVIE IS BEING REMADE.It's ricockulous.Everything, from classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Halloween, to more obscure movies like One Missed Call and The Hills Have Eyes.Everything gets a fucking remake now.Friday The 13th, The Last House On The Left, Nightmare On Elm Street, it's fucking ridiculous.They're even remaking Evil Dead (Evil Dead II does NOT count as an early remake, there's enough in it to pass as it's own movie)!Fuck...anyway, I didn't hate it as much as I probably should have, it did rely a little heavily on the 3D effects, but really I'm just baffled that this remake even exists.My Bloody Valentine was a low budget Canadian horror movie, it's okay, but it's hardly worth a remake.Nothing is, stop the fucking remakes.Even The Rocky Horror Picture Show is being remade, they're going to have legions of transvestites rioting over it.It's MTV that's doing it, too.The biggest cult movie of all time...being remade...by MTV.Let that sink in.

Ed Wood - The movie about the director, not the director himself.I actually want to dedicate an entire review to Ed Wood movies (probably just Glen Or Glenda, Bride Of The Monster, and Plan 9 From Outer Space), so I won't say much about them here.It's in black and white, like many of the movies I love.It opens with a badass homage to Night Of The Ghouls, and with Johnny Depp (who I would love to fuck) as Ed Wood, you can't go wrong.He's sexy, he' funny, he's charismatic, he gets hit with a frying pan, he wears an angora sweater, he's awesome.Just like the real Ed Wood.This movie also has a cameo with Vincent D'Onofrio as Orson Welles, and that's just fucking genius, they really do look alot alike.Go watch Law And Order CI then watch Citizen Kane and tell me you can't see it.Anyway, awesome movie.

Home - An episode of The X-Files I recently mentioned to Jess, so why not review it?It was considered really disturbing and was only aired twice, once with a TV-MA rating.I don't get it, it's not disturbing at all.Sure, it's about a family that's practiced inbreeding to the point of looking like a mixture of the Yamomamos from Cannibal Holocaust and Shrek, and they're always fucking their mother, who has no limbs, and it opens with a deformed baby being buried alive, which we later see unearthed, but please, it has nothing on Henry Spencer's kid.Anyway, not disturbing, people are too sensitive, blah blah blah, awesome episode, Sculley is hot.

Lisa Lampanelli Long Live The Queen - Lampanelli's first HBO special, actually aired earlier tonight.The cartoon at the beginning sucked, but overall it was funny.I wish she made more jokes about cripples, though.I WANT TO BELONG, DAMNIT!Anyway, one of the funniest parts was when she made a joke about her gay friend teaching her a new cock sucking method and some faggot in the crowd actually mimed it.Of course, the overall message was acceptance.As Nivek Ogre so eloquently says, we are one race.Live in peace.

So there you go, a few short reviews of random things.Don't worry, Eyes Wide Shut is coming soon.Just a few more sessions and my shrink says I should be able to watch it.

Okay, so now the double spaced problem has been fixed, so of course the single space blog I JUST wrote had to fuck up.This website is driving me insane.

Also, I think it's a good thing that there's a warning on the main page of my site because apparently there's a rule about dirty content now, which my site has coming out the ass.Maybe I'll add to the warning a little bit.

I don't know what there is to talk about, I don't really have any life updates.I finally got to see Katie again, two days in a row, after days of sickness and being away from my beautiful freckled angel...heh, corny.

Okay, bye.

This blog is the assest thing that ever assed in the illustrious history of assness.Now the spaces are fixed and everything's fucking double spaced!

This site sucks your ass harder than a shopvac, it fucking blows, it's a piece of shit, it's a cum guzzling blanket turd burger pussy cunt fuck faggot nigger deer cracker dago spic guinea gook fuckbunny asshole faggot cunt kike sucking turtle fucker.

With AIDS.

I apologize, that was very offensive.

Whatever.

Fuck you, unspecified cheapo hosting website!GET THE FUCKING THING WORKING, YOU ASS!

I'm pissed now.

I'm over it now.

YAY HAPPY!

Enough.

ANDY WARHOL

PLUS

KIRBY DICK

EQUALS

ANDY DICK

Think about it.